Dear GOD. It’s me The Dog
Dear God: Why are there cars named after The jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, The colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE Named for a Dog? How often do you See a cougar riding around? We love a nice car Ride! Would it be so hard to rename The ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘Chrysler Beagle’?
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human Verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, Horns, clickers, beepers, scent, IDs, Electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee Flight paths. What
do humans understand?
Dear God: Here is a list of Just some of the things I must remember To be a good Dog:
- Iwill not eat the cat’s food before he eats It or after he throws
- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, Crabs, etc., just because
I like the way they smell.
- The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s Underwear when he’s on the
- Sticking my nose into someone’s Crotch is an unacceptable way of
- I don’t need to suddenly stand Straight up when I’m under the
- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before Entering the house
– not after.
- I will not come in from outside, And immediately drag my butt
across the carpet.
- I will not sit in the middle of the living Room, and lick my
- The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’, So when I play with him and he
makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.
When I get to Heaven, May I have my testicles back?