A Bawdy Tale … Fifty Shades of Grey

Anonymous of course … and directed at gents of a certain age … and all readers who are  mentally constipated

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY – (a husbands point of view)

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,

I had a look inside her bag;

   …  T’was “fifty shades of grey”

  Well I just left her to it,

    And at ten I went to bed.

     An hour later she appeared;

    The sight filled me with dread…

          In her left she held a rope;

          And in her right a whip!

          She threw them down upon the floor,

          And then began to strip..

          Well fifty years or so ago;

          I might have had a peek;

          But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;

          She’s eighty four next week!!

          Watching Mabel bump and grind;

          Could not have been much grimmer.

          And things then went from bad to worse;

          She toppled off her Zimmer!

          She struggled back upon her feet;

          A couple minutes later;

          She put her teeth back in and said

          I am a dominater !!

          Now if you knew our Mabel,

          You’d see just why I spluttered,

          I’d spent two months in traction

          For the last complaint I’d uttered.

          She stood there nude and naked

          Bent forward just a bit

          I went to hold her, sensual like

          and stood on her left t*t!

          Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;

          My god what had I done!?

          She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

          “Step on the other one”!!

          Well readers, I can’t tell no more;

          About what occurred that day.

          Suffice to say my jet black hair,

          Turned fifty shades of grey.

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