Dog Beseeches God

Dear GOD. It’s me The Dog

Dear God: Is it on purpose that Our Names are spelled the same, only in reverse?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, But seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after The jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, The colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE  Named for a Dog? How often do you See a cougar riding around? We love a nice car Ride! Would it be so hard to rename The ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘Chrysler Beagle’?

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off In the forest and no human hears him, Is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human Verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, Horns, clickers, beepers, scent,  IDs, Electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee Flight paths. What 
do humans understand?

 Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?  If there are, will I have 
to apologize?

Dear God: Here is a list of Just some of the things I must remember To be a good Dog:

1. Iwill not eat the cat’s food before he eats It or after he throws 
   it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, Crabs, etc., just because
   I like the way they smell.
3. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
5. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s Underwear when he’s on the
   toilet.
6. Sticking my nose into someone’s Crotch is an unacceptable way of 
   saying ‘hello’.
7. I don’t need to suddenly stand Straight up when I’m under the
   coffee table.
8. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before Entering the house
   – not after.
9. I will not come in from outside, And immediately drag my butt
   across the carpet.
10. I will not sit in the middle of the living Room, and lick my
    crotch.
11. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’, So when I play with him and he
    makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.

P.S. 
Dear God: 
When I get to Heaven, May I have my testicles back?